11th Hour Miracle
Hi Lesly -
I wanted to share some great news with you – I booked a national commercial this week, on the heels of dire financial straits and my mother lecturing me about how I need to stop acting again if I don’t book anything by December. This is significant for several reasons: 1) it’s only the 4th commercial audition I’ve been out on since my big “comeback” as an actor. 2) I’ve done several commercials in the past, but never a national. This means it has the potential make me some desperately needed $$$.
3) I really think my booking has a lot to do with our conversation in class a couple weeks ago about “having fun.” I tend to despise commercial auditions but during our talk in class, I looked around and looked at J, who makes a living doing commercials, and I realized that she was probably walking into all of those auditions with a spirit of fun instead of viewing them as an exercise in wasted time and embarrassing hassle. So I decided to go into my next audition and just have fun – and I got a callback.
Now, in the olden days, every time I got close to a role or a commercial and was in the “callback” stage, I would get really nervous and clingy. I would view the audition room as people sitting there with bags of money, debating whether or not to give it to me. Or even more dangerously, imbibe the role with “I’ll never get an audition again; this will prove to my friends/ex-boyfriends/agents/casting directors/family/etc that I am worthwhile and talented and therefore deserving of respect and love.”
I really tried not to do that this time, but to go into something as simple as a commercial callback with a spirit of just having a good time, no pressure – and when I left the room that day, I thought, you know, I had a really good time. Full stop.
I need to start doing this in every aspect of my life.
Anyway, I wanted to share this with you, because it really is an 11th hour miracle and part of me can’t believe that I’m actually getting paid to act again. I just can’t believe it, after four years of never thinking I was going to act ever again. The fact that I am going to get to sit in a makeup chair and get my hair done and enjoy two days of free catering literally blows my mind.
Thank you for class and inspiration and believing in me.