“Intermezzi”

July 8, 2011 in Actors, BOTOCS (Battles of the Ongoing Classes), Ongoing, Pictures, Videos - leave a reply

As many of you already know, in April we did a BOTOC (Battle of the Ongoing Classes) called “Intermezzi” which was intended to get the actors in my Ongoing Classes to

*  start creating their own projects, and

*  provide them with a reason to live other than auditions,  rehearsals and class

Wikipedia defines intermezzi as “a masque-like dramatic piece with music, which was performed between the acts of a play at Italian court festivities on special occasions . . . the most spectacular form of dramatic performance . . . ”.  Unfortunately, the BOTOC Intermezzi were, for the most part, not “spectacular.”

There’s nothing inherently wrong with mediocrity, it’s simply not gonna getcha where you wanna go.

*  Do you want a career in acting or not? Come on, be honest. It’s no sin to not know whatcha really wanna do and to be doing this in the meantime. But if that’s the case, you probably wanna skip the rest of this missive, as I’m gonna play dirty.

*  What did you come out here to do? If you followed a girl and she’s outta the picture, are you sure you wanna stay?

*  You wonder why your career is going nowhere. Could it be because of your astounding devotion to mediocrity? If so, stop it. Let’s start going for great.

The BOTOC actors were asked to create pieces that could be performed (or played) to entertain my guests (and me) perhaps at business lunches. Each class could create as many “intermezzi” as they wanted, none could exceed ten minutes, and they could be anything: scenes, monologues, short films, stand-up, improv, sketch, games, songs, musical numbers, talents, clowning, juggling, magic, tap dancing, original songs, poetry readings, music videos — you name it. They were required to

1. seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch,
2. be “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational!,
3. be complete performances with a beginning, middle and an end,
4. be original or adapted,
5. be fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc., and
6. have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal).

The results took the form of theatrical, filmed, and musical pieces as well as some stand-up and a couple miscellaneous things.

 

THE THEATUH

Alas, poor Yorick.

1.  The Monologues. Several people elected to resurrect monologues from their B.L. (Before Lester) days in the theatuh. I suspect the actors elected to do these pieces because they didn’t

a. have time to find, fully prepare and get off book on something new, creative, or original (how the two weeks most classes had and the three weeks Monday night classes had could possibly not be enough time to prepare one minute of entertainment is a bit beyond me), and/or

b. have the energy to think outside of the box (I get it: three full time jobs, dogs to walk, coffees to drink, alcohol to consume, golf to play, weights to lift, miles to run, laundry to do, health shakes to prepare – really. I get it! I’m not even being sarcastic! I LIVED it. But look at me NOW. Do I need to point out that I am NOT an actor? If you don’t want to act for a living, YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT PATH! But remember – I’m lucky. I LOVE being an acting teacher. One of the great role models of my life was my own acting teacher, the brilliant and amazing Barbara June Greener Patterson. Because of her, to me, being an acting teacher is just about the best thing a person could do with her day (and most nights.) So, do you think ANYTHING ELSE would be cool to do? ‘Cuz if not, you  need to get fewer, higher paying day jobs, send the dog to your parents, drink your caffeine on the go, attend AA, take up a shorter sport, do less reps, train for fewer marathons, invest in a dry cleaner and let Erewhon make your shakes. You HAVE to create, no matter what; you need to MAKE the TIME.)

While none of the monologues were baaaaad per se, none were particularly good either. In fact, most were . . . mediocre.

“Mediocre” is my new fave swear word (I don’t honestly see what’s wrong with words like “fuck” and “shit.” They describe realities of life we can’t do without. “Mediocrity” conversely is something we simply must choose to abolish.)

Why did the monologues not work? Perhaps because the actors hadn’t worked on them in years and thus hadn’t applied any of the things they’ve learned or re-learned of late about listening and thinking and imaging. The actors had changed but the monologues hadn’t. They did them by rote as they had done them in past years. In short, they copped out and just used something old to try to fulfill the assignment.

“But Les!”  Whined one particularly irritated actor.

“What?”  I snipped in a most Kahnlike manner.

“You said we should just have fun!  Do what we want! Do what we don’t usually get to doooo!”

“Yes, that’s true. But

• I also said you had to be “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational!” Was it?
• I said you had to “provide complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end.” Didja?
• I required your piece to be “original or adapted.” Was it?
• I asked that it be “fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc.” Was it?
• I also wanted your piece to include “some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal).” Did it?

Again. I GET IT! I am living proof of how hard it is to succeed as an actor, how haaaard it is to do what you need to do to make it happen. But I need YOU to DO BETTER THAN I DID! I need you to do more! You are not getting away with anything by cutting corners. I seeee youuuuu hiding there inside that old, cobweb covered monologue! Move ON!

Moreover, people have been doing mediocre monologues for years. Do you think YOUR mediocre monologue is special?! It’s not!!!! Either do a superb monologue following the directions I provided, or do something else.

2.  The Scenes.  I know it’s shocking, but I can tell when you’re phoning it in. Don’t.  Prepare, rehearse, be excellent. Always.

3.  The Sketch Comedy. On the one hand, I have no right to judge it because I’ve never really done it or studied it. On the other hand, if you’re gonna make me sit through it, I guess I have the right to criticize it. Please God entertain me. Don’t bore me. Don’t tell me something I already know. Don’t be messy. Don’t be predictable. Don’t be unclear. Make me laugh. Wikipedia defines a sketch as, “a comedic exploration of a concept, character, or situation.” I would like to add that said comedic exploration also needs to be rehearsed, prepared, developed, surprising and entertaining. That was not the case during the Intermezzi.

TUESDAY EVENING CLASS

* did a monologue she’d written sometime in the past.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Kinda entertaining.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Nope.
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

TUESDAY NIGHT CLASS

* did monologues from a play he stopped writing about a year ago.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was unclear, although I’m thrilled he put pen to paper.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Nope.
• Was it original or adapted? Yes.
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Some.

* cold read an original scene about PROFESSIONALISM which has promise. But they COLD READ it. THEY COLD READ IT!!!! AUUUUUGGGHHHH!

* Jesse S did some Shakespeare. Not bad. Not original.

* did a mono from PRINCE OF THE CITY. Not bad. Not original.

THURSDAY DAY CLASS

* Ursula T and Jeff P kinda cold read a scene.

THURSDAY NIGHT CLASS

* Mark V did a monologue written by the divine Gloria Calderon Kellett.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was well done, if somewhat theatrical.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Nope.
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Some.

FRIDAY DAY CLASS

* Jennefer L did a Bulgarian Bride mono she’d written.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
•  Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was interesting.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Yes!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

*  Saku E and Ileana C did a scene Saku adapted from that Chinese parenting book everybody’s talking about.  Saku gets extra credit for performing wounded as, during the scene, a plate broke and she cut her hand.

CLICK HERE FOR Saku - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

Brava, Saku! The show must go on!

Shirley B vacuumed afterward so no one stepped on glass.

CLICK HERE FOR Shirley - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was interesting.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Kinda.
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

* Jenn L and Doug S did the same scene Jenn did last fall about the woman who wants to role play with husband. Doug is resplendent in these kinds of roles. I love it when Jenn is sexy.

CLICK HERE FOR Doug – BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

* Jerome G did an Abstinence Teacher monologue that I believe he wrote, culminating in a song and dance that nobody expected.

CLICK HERE FOR Jerome - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
•  Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was fun.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Kinda.
• Was it original or adapted? I dunno.
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

MONDAY EVENING CLASS

* Jay E, Brian H, Arianne A, Courtney C, and Kay W did a scene Brian wrote – The Bra Sketch.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was fun.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Eh.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

*  Phillip M and Mimi P did a scene he did a year ago in a showcase.

*  Daved W, Mandell M, Frank M, Merrill D and Philip M did a sketch written by Daved, THE EVOLUTION OF THE MALE FEMALE DYNAMIC.

MONDAY NIGHT CLASS

*  Kristy J and others did a scene about breast feeding.

*  Ellen W did a monologue from BEAUTIFUL GIRLS with Zach L, Justice L, Trevor T and Sam C. Ellen was good. She had some nice business.  Not original.

*  Lili M and Angela O wrote a scene in which Lili taught guys how to cook Pigs in a Blanket; Angela was cute.  Eric N was offended by the concept. The Pigs were superb. (I’m mad for mustard.) It was a great idea but they were messy and on book.  They should shoot it when and if it’s ever not a mess. It’s a great idea. Angela should wear her old cheerleading uniform.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was fun.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Nope.

*  Eric N did a HENRY V monologue. Not original. See above.

*  Justice L did a great mono he’s writing about a guy at a hotel front desk; moments were very funny, but in process and very on book.

CLICK HERE FOR Justice - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? No but it could.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was fun.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? No but it could be.
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Nope.

*  Kristy J did a good mono with nice imaging and very good acting. Not original.

*  Lili M did a monologue from LUSTING AFTER PEPINO’S WIFE; an old one for her. See above.

CLICK HERE FOR Lili - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

  

THE FILM

Some people thought it’d be a good idea to sit unlit in front of the camera on their computer screen and say things I couldn’t understand because there was no additional microphone, while loud music was playing. At some point they kissed, I think. But I’m not sure. It was dark and blurry.

One lovely girl stood in front of a wall and spoke extemporaneously to camera about her charity. A good portion of the language involved the words “um” and “uh.”

Peeeooople!!!! I gotta be able to see you and hear you, and you actually have to be saying something vaguely WORTH HEARING. The occasional pretty graphic and evidence of having learned the basics of editing DOESN’T CUT IT. Respect the viewer! We have more important things to do with our time than watch you have no idea what you’re doing! (And fyi? In order to create a blooper reel, a significant piece of film that is, in fact, not a mistake must have been created at some point prior.)

Several people created a video about slating. An interesting idea, but y’all! You CANNOT just THROW something UP THERE and PRAY. Prayer is not one of the skills you learn in film school or even on the job.  Storytelling? Yes. Storyboarding? Yes. Editing? Of course. How to work a camera? I would hope so. Lighting? Sound? Sets? Props? Make-up? Wardrobe? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes.  Preeeeeeeeeeeepaaaaaaaaaaare like a mofo and then you can just show up and shoot. You cannot just turn the camera on and hope for the best. Write a story. With a beginning, middle, end and a turn. Like Mama said to. In her instructions. (Do y’all think I write the instructions because it’s FUN?! It’s NOT FUN! I write ‘em to HELP YOU! NOT TO TORTURE YOU! HELP ME HELP YOU!!!!)

THURSDAY DAY CLASS

*  Stephen S directed Stephanie J and Jim M in Steph’s Perfect Scene. While I was THRILLED TO PIECES that they had finally turned in a piece that had been assigned over six months ago, and was equally pleased with the result (everything about it was very well done – both performances, the editing, the direction), it was not THIS assignment.

THURSDAY DAY AND FRIDAY DAY CLASSES

*  Stephen S showed three shorts: MCCARTHY GOES FOR A JOG starred Collin P and Jennifer B and was cute. DOG DAYS I don’t recall. SHE WAS GOOD LOOKING starring Collin P, Stephen S and Lindsay G was a valiant effort.

 

TUESDAY EVENING CLASS

*  ALL QUIET ON THE LA FRONT with Amy M, Ali D, Seth H, Katie W, Pilar H – Fun! Check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkxqkJkHD6g

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/ce6b3635bb/all-quiet-on-the-la-front

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Not so much.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It had moments.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Yes!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

TUESDAY NIGHT CLASS

*  Jay H showed a video – http://www.youtube.com/user/ShitTalkDaily.

*  Vikki K showed a video she made a while back with some classmates.

*  Alison H showed a preview of a film she did.

*  Gin K showed a video of her current show.

THURSDAY NIGHT CLASS

*  Van H wrote, directed and edited his first ever film using most of his class including Nick C, Rachel G, Nikki H, Adam K, Morgan K, Riccardo L, Matt M, Alison T, Marc V, Jessalyn W and Carrie W. It was called MISSED CONNECTIONS. It was cooooooool. Great concept, amazing execution. Way to go, Van! There were some excellent moments and then we had a long development meeting about it and they’re all gonna do it again. I’m really excited to see the next version and thrilled that everyone participated in such a fantastic project. There were two pieces I adored (Rachel & Riccardo’s), and I’m hoping Van will send them to me so I can post ‘em for you.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? No but it could.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Yes!
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Yes!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Nope.

FRIDAY DAY CLASS

*  Nate C and E-Kan S created HOW TO BOOK A JOB, an “educational” video which I looooooooooooooved with Tamar Feinkind, Doug Simpson, Jennefer Ludwigson and Colin Palomares, It was E-Kan’s first time editing and I was just buh-lown a-wwaaay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzSg6Q03W4o

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Yes!  It was about acting!  PERFECTION!
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Yes!
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Yes!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

MONDAY EVENING CLASS

*  Mark S showed the very first film he has made; he wrote it, directed Kay W, Julia W and Derek D. He also edited and learned a lot. Jay E was the UPM. It was a really big undertaking; I’m wildly impressed with the result.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? No.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It certainly tried.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Yes!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? I don’t recall.

 

THE MUSIC

I sure do admire those of you who can sing, play the guitar and write music. Really I do! But if I’m sitting five feet away from you, I’m thinking MAAAYYYBE I should be able to understand some of the words you’re singin’? And you can’t be drowning your voice out with the guitar! And you can’t be singin’ the whole thing with your eyes closed, in profile. Do they do that on THE VOICE? X FACTOR? AMERICAN IDOL???? And PLEASE STOP IMITATING EVERYBODY ELSE! That’s what your childhood was for.  Now be YOUUUUU.

“But I’m not as good as, say, Adele!” Say you.

“You’re not?” I ask.

“Noooooo!” You respond.

“Then why are you singing at me?! If I can listen to Adele and you’re not as good as Adele, why are you torturing me? Either BE as good as or better than Adele or do something else! I am not your mother! I am not gonna adore every tidbit that falls outta your mouth no matter what it is! I am your highly critical, incredibly worried, constantly panic-stricken ACTING TEACHER who needs you to show me your brilliance!!!!”

And could you please IMAGE the songs?! The tune isn’t that interesting, your guitar playing isn’t so genius and your voice isn’t so stunning that I don’t need to understand what you’re saying! And please God don’t sing a capella unless you’re that bald Irish singer from the ‘90’s. You need accompaniment. And don’t pretend you’re in the booth with your hand at your ear when there’s no booth!

“But Les!” You plead.

“What?!” I snap snappishly.

“This is acting class. Not AMERICAN IDOL!”

“No! This is Project Intermezzi! It is MY AMERICAN IDOL.  It is an opportunity for you to blow people awaaaay!”

“But I’m not good enough for AMERICAN IDOL!”

“You’re not?”

“Noooooooo!”

“Then why, again, are you singing?!”

It’s like with the videos. Have some respect for your audience’s time! If you’re gonna sing, sing really really really really well or don’t sing. This isn’t Karaoke night with your friends in Glendale. It’s Hollywood. If you’re gonna get up in front of us and play the guitar and sing a song you wrote, please do it nothing short of brilliantly, or DON’T DO IT AT ALL. We all have radios and computers and cds and iTunes (yes, even me!) If we wanna hear a song we can do so anytime we want. If we wanna see someone sing a song live, we can do that anytime we want too. We don’t need you unless you’re special, great, different, original – SOMETHING.

THURSDAY DAY CLASS

*  Greg M sang a song from THE LAST FIVE YEARS. Greg is a really good singer and it was easy to watch him.

I thought his first time through was great, but then co-teacher Vikki Kelleher, who knows the show like the back of her hand and is a singer herself, helped Greg to go A LOT deeper and the second time through was pretty freakin’ great.

HOWEVER. As great and moving as it was, it still didn’t fulfill the requirements of the assignment.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Entertaining.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Nope.
• Was it original or adapted? Nope.
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Nope.

*  Marcienne D also sang . . .

*  Christine G, was, as they say, totes adorbs. She sang and tap danced and was very cute in her cute dress.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Entertaining.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Nope.
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Yes!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Nope.

CLICK HERE FOR Christine - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

FRIDAY DAY CLASS

*  Carina C did a mono about a contemporary drunk girl and then sang opera.  Wow.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? No but it could.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Interesting but needs work.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Nope.
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

MONDAY EVENING CLASS

*  Arianne A sang “Big, Blonde & Beautiful.”

CLICK HERE FOR Arrianne - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

*  Mimi P “Someone to Watch Over Me,” as well as some imitations.

MONDAY NIGHT

*  Ellen W sang an original song about being 22 whilst accompanying herself on the guitar.

CLICK HERE FOR Ellen - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? It was good.
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Ok.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

*  Trevor T also sang an original song whilst accompanying himself on the guitar. He announced that he didn’t know what song he was gonna sing ‘til he sat down.  Was that wise?

CLICK HERE FOR Trevor - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

*  Rob A also sang a song and played the guitar.

CLICK HERE FOR Rob - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

*  Ellen W sang another song she wrote about love. It was very moving.

 

THE STAND UP & THE STORYTELLING

Does stand up work for Intermezzi? It could! But MAKE it work! Find a way to utilize the situation to your advantage. Don’t just “do your stand-up.” We’re not at the Improv. This isn’t the Comedy Store. It’s the freakin’ Green Room at the Kahnstitute. Consider your space, the circumstances, the audience. Go deeeeeper!

And if you’re gonna do stand-up, please don’t only look up, down, all the way to the left or all the way to the right. Consider looking . . . I dunno . . . out. At the audience. And take off your freakin’ glarey glasses so I can see your eyes. And wear something that looks great on you.

And if you’re gonna tell a story? PREPARE IT. The fact that the story involves bodily functions does not automatically make it funny.

Uch.

THURSDAY NIGHT CLASS

   FRIDAY DAY CLASS

CLICK HERE FOR Standup – BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

MONDAY EVENING CLASS

 
MONDAY NIGHT CLASS

CLICK HERE FOR Jill – BOTOC 2011 VIDEO




THURSDAY NIGHT CLASS

*  Jessalyn W choreographed and performed a dance to an Adele song — I FOUND A BOY.

CLICK HERE FOR Jessalyn Dancing – BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? Nope.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Yes!
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? Yes!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Nope.
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Nope.

FRIDAY DAY CLASS

*  I’m not really clear what Caity E did. But she was cute.

*  Lilah R and Dean L amazed us with “Asian Beber,” a karaoke performance. Dean was so great I thought he was lip synching!

CLICK HERE FOR Dean - BOTOC 2011 VIDEO

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? No but it could.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Yes!
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? I think so!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Almost!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

*  Lilah R and Dean L did a second karaoke number, “Kahnifornia Girls,” replete with palm tree, leis and beach balls.

• Did it seamlessly fit into the concept of a business lunch? No but it could.
• Was it “freakin’ entertaining!” And/or educational? Yes!
• Was it a complete performance with a beginning, middle and an end? Yes!
• Was it original or adapted? I think so!
• Was it fully produced, including lights, sound, costumes, make-up, etc. ? Yes!
• Did it have some sort of inherent SURPRISE (or reversal)? Yes!

THE WINNERS

*  Monday Evening had several entries, but none were up to snuff.

*  Monday Night gets love for the sheer number of intermezzi (most of which involved Ellen!), but I expected more from y’all.

*  Tuesday Evening gets demerits for the sheer dearth of entries. Honorable mentions to those noted above.

*  Tuesday Night was disappointing.

*  Thursday Day made an admirable showing. Congratulations.

*  Thursday Night’s Intermezzi were all of a theme. They called the evening “Intermezzi Amore,” and yes, all the intermezzi had something to do with love. (I believe this was Marc V’s doing.) This class also made an admirable showing. Yay. But, while I loved the concept behind Van’s film, it’s not quite there yet.

*  Friday Day definitely wins the Most Improved Class Award – I think they were in last place during the last BOTOC, but they BROUGHT it this time! So many of their intermezzi were fun, especially “Asian Beber” and “Kahnifornia Girls!” Check out the lyrics from Dean L and Lilah R:

Kahnifornia Gurls

DJ Deany Li
Greetings Loved Ones
Lets take a journey

Lilah
I know a place
Where the teacher’s a screamer
The best come to play
There must be something in her water
Eatin’ actor snacks
Hanging out in the yellow room
Lesly
Breaks her neck
Try’na get our careers to boom

Dean
You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Kahnstitute
Once you Dare to Suck
You’ll be falling in Love
Oooh oh Ohhh

Lilah
Kahnifornia Girls
We’re unforgettable
Perfect Pace
Thoughts on top
Stake so high
And HOT
We’ll melt your popsicle
Ohhh oh Ohhh

Dean
Kahnifornia Boys
We’re Undeniable
Fine, Fresh, Fierce
We got in on lock
Reppin Lesly Kahn
Now put your hands up
Ohh oh Ohhh

Lilah
Success within reach
From amateurs to Hollywood pros
She freaks
When we keep
Booking those movies and tv shows

Dean
You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the Kahnstitute
Once you Dare to Suck
You’ll be falling in Love
Oooh oh Ohhh

Lilah
Kahnifornia Girls
We’re unforgettable
Perfect Pace
Thoughts on top
Stake so high
And HOT
We’ll melt your popsicle
Ohhh oh Ohhh

Dean
Kahnifornia Boys
We’re Undeniable
Fine, Fresh, Fierce
We got in on lock
Reppin Lesly Kahn
Now put your hands up
Ohh oh Ohhh

DJ Deany Li Rap
Lights camera action ready
Turn it up with the kids at Lesly
Wild wild west coast
She is the one I love the most
I mean the Kahn
I mean like she’s the one
Kiss her touch her squeeze her buns (uh)
Lesly’s a freak
And shows her tits
When she comes to teach
I’m ok I won’t play
I love Les-lay
Just like I love LA
Friday class and rehearsing
Having thoughts is everything
Build and reverse bang it out
Dare to suck hanging out
Bikinis zucchinis martinis no weenies
Just Lilah and Dean Li
Lesly my lady (yeah)
Lookie here baby (uh huh)
I’m all up on ya
Cuz you representin Kahnifornia

Lilah
Kahnifornia Girls
We’re unforgettable
Perfect Pace
Thoughts on top
Stake so high
And HOT
We’ll melt your popsicle
Ohhh oh Ohhh

Dean
Kahnifornia Boys
We’re Undeniable
Fine, Fresh, Fierce
We got in on lock
Reppin Lesly Kahn
Now put your hands up
Ohh oh Ohhh
Kahniforniaaaaa
Kanifornia Girlssss
Kahniforniaaaaa
Kanifornia Boyssss

*  But! Nate Clark and E-Kan Soong’s film HOW TO BOOK THE JOB, WITH LESLY KAHN is the grand prize winner!!!! It stars Tamar Feinkind, Doug Simpson, Jennefer Ludwigson, Colin Palomares, Nate Clark and E-Kan Soong.  See it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzSg6Q03W4o.

I’ll be posting it everywhere, emailing everywhere else, and playing it non-stop in the Green Room! FANTASTIC WOOOOORK!

You are the winners of BOTOC Intermezzi!

KAHNGRATULATIONS!!!!

Tyler’s fave quote, “How you do anything is how you do everything,” could not conceivably be more meaningful, n’est ce pas?